New verb: To “Greta” means to manipulate the impressionable

Greta Thunberg: “You have stolen my dreams and my childhoodI should be back in school, on the other side of the ocean. Yet you all come to us young people for hope … How dare you!”

I think you’ll find, Greta, that it’s your manipulative parents who ignored your childhood and that it’s your massive, expensive PR army that stole your childhood and abused your most formative years.

Don’t blame us adults. All over the world we’re getting on with the serious business of bringing up our children and grandchildren to be thinking, responsible members of society, who don’t blame others for the systematic cynical abuses to which they are subjected by selfish, greedy narcissists and egocentrists.

You said in your speech at the UN:

“I should be back in school, on the other side of the ocean. Yet you all come to us young people for hope … How dare you!”

There’s just one problem with that claim: nobody asked you to peddle “hope”. It’s worrying, delusional even, that you would actually believe this is the case. It’s your manipulative adult handlers who’ve convinced you that such a plea has been voiced. It hasn’t. The carefully crafted hysteria that your PR machinery promoted has steamrollered certain swathes of society into a mass response. But that’s just the result of the onslaught that is your PR juggernaut. At no stage have the world’s adults “come to (you) young people for hope”. You’ve been used.

Now think about what I’ve written before you hand this text over to your staff of adult PR specialists to formulate a rebuttal on your behalf.

And then go to school. It’s where we responsible parents and grandparents expect vulnerable children like you to be spending your time – with your friends of a similar age instead of being coached by adults to lecture other adults for political and monetary gain.

You are a schoolchild, not a cash-machine or a stepladder to political gain which is how the manipulative adults around you seem to regard you.

Go. To. School. It’s our job as adults to look after you. The responsible ones among us – you know, the silent majority who just get on with our responsibilities – are doing an excellent job. It’s the selfish adults surrounding you who are failing you, and terribly at that.

Go. To. School. And get an education. That way you’ll know what you’re talking about, actually based on facts and figures instead of throwaway slogans and unfounded mantras. And that way people may actually take notice of what you say, instead of being upset about the serial abuse to which you are being subjected by your adult handlers.

Because of course you’re right – the climate issue is a serious one. In certain parts of the world, it is a very serious one indeed, in others like Sweden where you and I come from, much less so because we here in Sweden already do an excellent job in this regard. Having said which, there is obviously always room for improvement.

But is climate – the political platform that your manipulative parents and your highly paid PR machine chose for you – the most important issue on the human agenda? Not everyone would agree with you. Many people see this as just a platform to elevate you because you are being used as a photogenic tool owing to your youth. And that platform has been meticulously constructed by the adult PR experts surrounding you, using you as a figurehead.

Go. To. School. It’s where you belong. Like all children of your vulnerable and impressionable age.

I write this as a responsible father and grandfather. And as a teacher with no less than two academic qualifications to my name. Because I went to school and got myself an education …